The Truth About My Pregnancy (well, my third one)

I keep saying,

“I’m pregnant.”

But what I really mean is,

“You’re here.”

Before my fingers touch the keyboard, a teeny frog enters my throat. One of the many waves of emotion returns to my shore. Pregnancy is a loaded experience and topic. On every level.

For me, pregnancy has been both extraordinarily beautiful and painful. In 2023, I was pregnant three times, two ending in loss and one in Luna.

Throughout the many months of loss and life, I kept hearing, “When you create life, you mess with nature.” Nature is mysterious. Nature is unpredictable. Nature is extraordinarily beautiful and painful.

During my third pregnancy with Luna, I had a hard time trusting. I felt both hopeful and worried, confident and severely frightened. I was in absolute awe of the life being created inside of my body, and terrorized by it as well. I wanted and loved so much. It was happening. There was too much to lose. 

Pregnancy can feel this way, regardless of loss, and I think it’s because you are messing with the great unknown that only nature can supply. You wonder about all of the things that you are not able to know just quite yet.

During my pregnancy, I was driven to find ways to feel present with myself and my growing baby; to not feed the fear and worry so much. Because anxiety lives in the future, I knew I had to find ways to be present in real time.

So, naturally, I’ve created something for all the pregnant mamas out there. To slow down. To connect with themselves and their growing baby. To find presence, amidst such a packed moment in time. Click here to listen.

P.S. You are a creator of life. There is nothing more powerful than this.